Wasteland by TS Eliot

 APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding  
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing           
Memory and desire, stirring       
Dull roots with spring rain.          
Winter kept us warm, covering          
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding               
A little life with dried tubers.     
Summer surprised us, coming over the Starnbergersee
With a shower of rain; we stopped in the colonnade,     
And went on in sunlight, into the Hofgarten,        
And drank coffee, and talked for an hour.           
Bin gar keine Russin, stamm' aus Litauen, echt deutsch.
And when we were children, staying at the archduke's,
My cousin's, he took me out on a sled, 
And I was frightened. He said, Marie,      
Marie, hold on tight. And down we went.           
In the mountains, there you feel free.  
I read, much of the night, and go south in the winter.    

Love story

My young cousin singing Taylor Swift's Love story....


Memoirs


Memoirs of a different era....a new old discovery that i stumbled upon, like the fragrance from an old perfume bottle!!!

Leonard Cohen

I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm,
your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm,
yes, many loved before us, I know that we are not new,
in city and in forest they smiled like me and you,
but now it's come to distances and both of us must try,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.

I'm not looking for another as I wander in my time,
walk me to the corner, our steps will always rhyme
you know my love goes with you as your love stays with me,
it's just the way it changes, like the shoreline and the sea,
but let's not talk of love or chains and things we can't untie,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.

I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm,
your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm,
yes many loved before us, I know that we are not new,
in city and in forest they smiled like me and you,
but let's not talk of love or chains and things we can't untie,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.

My new heartthrob


Meet Mr. Yoshi! cutest little thing i ever held :)
Thank you Soden di for introducing me to this little wonder..


Photo courtesy: Sandup Wangdi

Rapunzel in making

All I needed was just a pair of scissors and my hairdresser Fuser to chop off my long locks….Didn’t even think twice, didn’t even shudder as I saw the long dark mane of mine lying in the floor…. And now!!! I reap the pain and agony of growing it all back…same old familiar curls, has now started gathering on my forehead, giving me assurance that tomorrow is not going to be the same, I shall have them again.….may be it is true…You never know what You have until you lose It.

Monsoon fiesta: A memorable journey through the eastern belt


It was a blessing in disguise to be entitled with an assignment which let us follow monsoon trail, escaping the heat of parched Delhi, which was then deprived of rain. The assignment entailed photography and documenting case studies on the unsung heroes of the Far East in the field of sports. Parveen and I set out on our adventurous journey on June 27, 2010, braving through the rough roads, insurgents, thunder, rain, and floods galore.

Route map

The well laid travel itinerary was no less than race against the time…..we had to cover two states West Bengal and Assam in all means of communication possible within a stipulated period of 10 days, turns out, due to some unforeseen circumstances we arrive a day earlier than the scheduled date…

The route map and the mode of transportation used for the journey!

West Bengal

The effect of the FIFA World Cup fever was best seen in this part of the country, Argentina and Brazil were the two most celebrated teams there. West Bengal being one of the top notch football crazy state in India, had to stand true to it’s name…..thus our case studies led us to people associated with football in enumerable ways, community coaches, football camps, clubs, women football troop who won laurels at a national level.

Purulia and Bankura were equidistant from Kolkata, which were about 300 -350 kms. Both the districts were inhabitated by the tribal community and also had some footprints of the Naxal insurgents in the neighborhood.

After reaching Kolkata we hardly had time for a breather, we hit the road on a highway and marched towards Bankura….no sooner we began our journey it started pouring cats and dogs..The dark cloud in the horizon brought us joy as well as apprehension for dampening the photo shoot the day later. The ride was comfortable with our efficient driver hitting the speed of 100 km/hr, we managed to reach our destination within 6 hours drive, stopping over tea and meals.

The next morning it was bright and sunny, we were in the field by 7 am. The little Bengali that I knew came quite handy to break the ice and strike a conversation amongst the local. Apart from probing them about the are a of sports we also had a good discussion on the ongoing world cup football matches and many participated with zeal and enthusiasm. After a long day we headed to the neighboring district Purulia.

Purulia is a hilly district located in the south west part of West Bengal. Purulia is well-known for its masked dance form known as the Chau, which was performed by the girls with rhythms of the dhol as a gesture for welcome. After meeting a couple of people we marched towards Kolkata. The ride back to Kolkata was memorable again, since the Maoist had declared a “bandh” there were no petrol available in the area. The driver had to use his last bit of petrol to reach a fuel station and literally camp and plead to the workers there to give us some petrol. We could do nothing except smile and look at them with desperation…finally the owner gave us some bit of petrol and we drove ahead to Kolkata.

The promotion of sports for development and community participation in sports and recreation does makes Bankura and Purulia promising hot-bed for sporting talent in the near future, they may have just started the journey, they have a long way to go, just like us who were travelling to the land of Ahoms, an unchartered journey through the gateway of the North-East.

Assam

Our first stop in Assam was in Guwahati, which lies beside the mighty river Brahmaputra. More rain and humidity caught us off-guard, the warm sultry weather in Guwahati was a little overwhelming for me and my fellow traveler.

The same day as we arrived, we were taken to Morigaon by our local partners which were around 80 kms away from Guwahati where we had to document a case study on girls from a residential school named Mahila Sishkan Kendra. On our way there, we crossed by a sanctuary named Pabitara, which is famous for the one horned Rhinoceros, who were undercover then, as we weren’t able to spot any of them. The landscape and the sight definitely was dream like, pristine and beautiful, but sadly due to the excess rain, the place was flooded. We were dismayed to see so many houses and family displaced due to heavy rain and flood. Nevertheless it was definitely a photographer’s delight to capture such luminous photographs of the water and the blue sky.

After we got back from Morigaon, we wanted to explore Guwahati, so we went to the river side to see the sunset. We were recommended to take a boat ride too, but we fell short of time and had to rush back to the hotel to watch the most awaited Argentina–Germany football match, I was supporting the Deutschland and Parveen was supporting Argentina, so lot of cheering and hooting followed when Die Mannschaft won the match.

Next morning we had to catch a bus to Dhemaji. The ride was exhausting which stretched for 12 long hours, which wasn’t so spine friendly due to the bouncy and rough road. We somehow managed to reach Dhemaji, which was situated on the northern bank of Assam. The district was bordering Arunachal Pradesh and mostly inhabited by the Mishing tribes. The following morning we had to ride to Bijoypur which was 100 kms away from Dhemaji, and we could see the hills of Arunachal at a stone throw distance. Accompanying the extremely rough roads were the Bihu songs blaring out of the van speakers which surprisingly aided us through the 100 km offroad trail.

Like other parts of Assam, Dhemaji was reeling under the flood, may be for this purpose Mishing community live on houses on stilts, stilts which have a big hall with a central kitchen for a large joint family, which could be climbed through a flight of 5-7 stairs leading to these houses. We had a grand lunch at one of the field worker’s home which was built using the same indigenous architecture. The experience was thoroughly enriching.

On to Dibrugarh where we cross the majestic Brahmaputra on a ferry…The drivers who were able to drive their car in the ferry must be crowned auto genius, it was thrilling to see the cars being parked in the small ferry where the drivers had to balance and drive over just two parallel beams and get the car in and out of the ferry. Even though it was likely to rain, I choose to sit on top of the deck because I wanted the best view. I climbed up and sat in the deck to enjoy the drizzle and the marvelous sight in front of me of the calm waters of Brahmaputra. The ferry ride was a breather saving us a further 12 hour drive to our destination.

Dibrugarh falls in the northern most part of Assam, it is famous for its tea estates and tea plantation sites which runs in kilometers. One of the people whom I would always remember and draw inspiration from is of Dhurba Jyoti, young lad of 12 who has lost his limb but not a zest for life.

Unbelievable experiences like planting the paddy along with the villagers, weathering all the slush and mud, having conversation with the old and the young people, their expressions, warmth and kindness would always stay close to my heart.

Before I finish my tales of beating floods and crossing mighty rivers, I just have one last tale left to narrate of the incident that occurred a few minutes as we were leaving Dibrugarh station. Much to our relief an empty train chugged into the platform. No sooner did we settle down there was utter chaos as we heard of a bombing that had happened on the route that we were to take. Instinct took over as we scrammed out of the train and made cancellations. A stream of thought followed me as I flew over the numerous sparkling snaky tributaries of the Brahmaputra the next day as the plane slowly hummed and took us back to Delhi…

Source: http://newconceptinfo.wordpress.com/2010/11/04/monsoon-fiesta-a-memorable-journey-through-the-eastern-belt/


To say or not to say!!!

Have you ever wondered what would hurt the most saying something and wishing you had not or saying nothing and wishing you had???

Milkshake

Daydream delusion
Limousine Eyelash
Oh, baby with your pretty face
Drop a tear in my wineglass
Look at those big eyes See what you mean to me
Sweet cakes and MILKSHAKES
I am a delusion angel
I am a fantasy parade
I want you to know what I think
Don't want you to guess anymore
You have no idea where I came from
We have no idea where we're going
Launched in life
Like branches in the river
Flowing downstream Caught in the current
I'll carry you You'll carry me
That's how it could be
Don't you know me
Don't you know me by now
Poem from "Before Sunrise"

Fear

The fear of life and the fear of death elude me today….
But there are certain fears that I would conquer someday
Like the fear that things change....
Fear of knowing everything follows equal.
Fear to feel....
Fear of being incapable to feel.
Fear of not knowing what will happen....
Fear of knowing it.
Fear to know that you would return no more.....
Fear someday you would.

Is it true that only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live?

KIBI- Karmapa International Buddhist Institute

Late 2004, I had paid my first visit to KIBI, and instantly I fell head over heels for this place, the
place was an embodiment of solitude hope and comfort to me. I was introduced to the place by the gatekeeper as the Sikkim Ministry, with the mere mention of Sikkim ministry my curiosity grew tenfold and I had to enter the place and see it for myself. So sportingly I went inside KIBI and ahhh to my relief and amazement it was a monastery of The thousand Buddha. It was one of the spectacular and splendid monastry I have ever seen, I was awe struck by the beauty and the serenity the place had to offer to it's visitors…One day I took a mission to count the Buddha stalked up there, but I lost count mid way....


The magnificent view of KIBI
Buddha statue in KIBI

I was with my friend Dechan, when we first set our eyes on the monastery looking architecture I met a gentleman from Sikkim, he had come to delhi to fight for a bill, He was a retired lawyer and on my further conversation with him I came to know that he was acquainted to my grand father, I also saw few more old people in the site which made me believe that KIBI was an old age home. Later it was demystified by some monk who enlightened me with the information that the place was an institute to learn Kagyu lineage of philosophy and Buddhism.


The door to heaven

Few years later I was back to KIBI, less of what I used to be since I first stepped into that place. It was four year hence, subconsciously I would have wished to come back…this time fortunately I had ample amount of time and sorrowful and confused soul that made me a frequent visitor to the place…I found myself coming to the place over and over again… My only motive to come to the place again and again was to seek answers to seek solace and guidance on the turbulent time of my life………Well I got more than what I desired and dreamt of here.

Photo courtesy : Tavish Basu

The paradox of play and plot ... Leading Lady

“Role of a leading lady in my life”….I have been playing with thought of being a leading lady in my own life for sometime…This idea would have sunk into me from the series of Ekta Kapoor soaps and ofcourse Karan Johar movies. ...

“Leading lady is the most important character in a movie, play, soaps, novel led by a women…as Shakespeare puts it in his play As you like it "All the world is a stage, and we are mere actors", I do believe that we are faring though this world with the elongated roles that we play in our lifespan…I have thus been trying figure out who decides our roles in this invented benign and eventful world.”

Is it the almighty god who ploy and script our roles….or it is us who choose to choose our own roles. I also believe that that the world and circumstances that we are today is result of the series of choices that we have made for ourselves or by others who could influence our choices…but how far do we have a control into it…only to the extend of how we fare through the situation that evolves around the circumstances.

Until then I aspire to be the leading lady in my own little ways…

Joy of impermenance

A year gone by and I think I have heard and read and preached a lot about the great virtue of Buddhism "impermanence". The philosophy falls under the four seals of Dharma in the Buddhist text, and it is one dope that excites and simulates my experience of learning and living……..In a nutshell impermanence talks about all things in this world being transitory, every moment fleeting, time is impermanent and so are all experiences and acquaintances. Such glamorous philosophical adage can only bring you a state of non attachment, which I feel is often unattainable, and fleeting in nature.













And today I had a very strong and persistent feeling of the illusory nature of the world and a sense of impermanence so strong and which never left me all day (it has been a result of series bottled thoughts and emotions). I truly had the feeling that the world is illusory, that our time here is so short and a very elongated sensation of the nature of time. This is why I am penning down my experiences and learning and writing about how a chapter in impermanence has brought a boquet of suprises and change in my life.

Impermanence to many may seem to be a shockingly nihilistic philosophy, It is often associated with negated feelings and has a pessimistic outlook towards life. But I believe it can be used as a tool to transform our lives, even on a daily basis. Knowing this and taking it as our beacon we can deal with any situation in life, whether it is a feeling of loss or a state of euphoria. We suffer the feeling of sadness and loss when we realise that things doesn't turn up like we have yearned, and in most of the cases loss of something or someone special in our life….we thus feel attached to them and their external loss offends us internally. The loss of anything causes us to experience a subtle form of pain, a sadness, and the sadness increases in proportion to one's attachment. Loss of what we hold the dearest causes deep and often lasting grief. But things change and fall apart; nothing endures and we experience pain and loss as part of the natural order of things. Knowing the impermanent nature of phenomena helps us to gain a more profound grasp, eases back our attachment to things and enables us to prepare for loss that is inevitable. We can then ease back our clinging to anything. It thus becomes a life path.

Petition to god

Dear god,

Please intervene and help end this tryst with my client and anything to do with it….This process is bringing suffering to me and my dear friend …. we have lost our health, our sanity and peace of mind… Our motivation for work and our will to live have both been affected negatively, as has been our self-esteem. All our fellow souls pretend to listen, but nobody seems to be empowered enough to act and make a positive difference in our life. Financially, we are facing ruin, and the load of debt seems to be getting heavier every minute.

I know that you are busy with wars conflicts and much higher cause than the ongoing predicament of two poor souls. It is my understanding that the health of the planet is affected by every individual on it. As long as there are even two soul suffering from some grief or the other…the whole of the world can be contaminated by it….making our closest kith and kin the immediate victim of the same.

In my most humble request I earnestly appeal you to end this suffering…so that two more people would live life free and meaningfully and there would be little bit less pain and suffering in a world which is already far too troubled by human sufferings and despair. Please set us on the right path and prevent us from making more wrong choices. Do guide us to success and job satisfaction, and help us make our families proud of us.

Thank you for your attention,

I look forward to hearing from you.

RespectfullyJyotsna Rai

Buddhism

This short note quantifies all essence of what humanity, humility and compassion is for me. Buddhism in a nutshell

The greatest achievement is selflessness.
The greatest worth is self-mastery.
The greatest quality is seeking to serve others.
The greatest precept is continual awareness.
The greatest medicine is the emptiness of everything.
The greatest action is not conforming with the worlds ways.
The greatest magic is transmuting the passions.
The greatest generosity is non-attachment.
The greatest goodness is a peaceful mind.
The greatest patience is humility.
The greatest effort is not concerned with results.
The greatest meditation is a mind that lets go.
The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances.

Atisha (11th century Tibetan Buddhist master)